Wide awake at 4 a.m. staring at the high desert clear night sky illuminated with stars. And out of nowhere I'm flooded with painful childhood memories. Feelings of humiliation, of being overlooked, ignored and alone are overwhelming. There are no adults in these memories. There's no one to blame for my interpretation of these rather … Continue reading Not Good Enough
Reflections
Meaning and Good News
There is no meaning-to my life-to my small life, my small self. The meaning of life, any life, all of life, is life itself. When I die, I die. Therefore, let me live for today. How shall I live? Simply. So others may live. So that life may continue-long after I’m gone. Life! What is … Continue reading Meaning and Good News
The Circle of Life
Today, I think of resurrection on many levels, but ultimately, at the time of my physical death, I believe that this physical body returns to the earth to help nourish and bring forth new life. I see this as the circle of life. Death and resurrection, over and over. When I sit near a stream, … Continue reading The Circle of Life
Denial to Acceptance and Everything In Between
I notice my anxiety rise as I watch the results of our presidential election numbers come in. I sip on my wine. PA shows Hillary far ahead at 10:30 last evening, I breathe easier. Chris not so much. I'm troubled by how close the numbers are in so many other states. But there are always … Continue reading Denial to Acceptance and Everything In Between
Mornin’ Joe
My morning cup of joe is what compels me to get out of bed. Sipping on my first cup of coffee is admittedly one of my favorite moments of the day, and I savor it. I've turned it into a whole ritual and while it's brewing, I typically do some minor chores like make the … Continue reading Mornin’ Joe
A Walk in the Park Brings Joyful Awareness
I'm resistant. I don't want to move. I'm spiraling down. I just want to stay put. I notice my lethargy and a dipping of my mood, for no apparent reason. A caving in sort of feeling. I know I 'should' move, but I don't want to. I notice the 'should' and I notice it is … Continue reading A Walk in the Park Brings Joyful Awareness
Coming out of the Shadows
I fell asleep last night with views through my window of the star filled night and a bright crescent moon on the Western Horizon. I wake to the orange glow of the mountains as they are set on fire by the rising sun. It's cool, almost cold. I hurry to make my coffee and wrap … Continue reading Coming out of the Shadows
Sweet Reunion
I let out a small shriek when someone grabs me from behind at the Las Vegas baggage claim. Imagine my delight at seeing my sweetie after a whole month. He goes the extra mile for me by coming in to see me when it would have been so much easier for him to wait in … Continue reading Sweet Reunion
Smoky Mountain River Music
I go to the river's edge to meditate....ahhh, anticipation. I sit. I take a few cleansing breaths. I listen. I hear some idiot playing his base. How dare he disturb the tranquility of this place, of my space. Can't ever get away from inconsiderate fools. My annoyance is palpable. I automatically turn to face the … Continue reading Smoky Mountain River Music
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